I'm sorry I've been ignoring your messages.
I'm sorry I forgot you had my back all along. I was too closed down to see the proof, no matter how many times you gave me obvious signs.
I'm sorry I forgot our bond and lost trust in you.
I'm sorry I tried to take everything into my hands and control Life, instead of letting Life show me the 'next right thing'.
Today I'm changing that. Today I'm opening myself to all of the hints, nudges, people, and ideas that I've walled myself off from. Today I'm giving up the power of choice that I've clung to for years, always insisting on selecting my own opportunities from an ever-diminishing field of options.
I will go anywhere, do anything, call anyone, and start anew in any area you point me toward.
My life, which you gave me, is not mine to live in any damn way I want; it's yours now, as it always was, to guide and inspire. Thank you for your direction, and please give me the sensitivity to recognize your touch in my life in every moment, not just when something I've wanted comes my way.
Let me recognize your influence even in the things I think I don't want.
Help me let go of my 'self' and attune to the plans you have for me instead; you see the immense arc of what is most fulfilling and advantageous for my life's path. Today I give up arguing for my own limited, self-absorbed vision, and I also give up bemoaning my circumstances, which I created.
The state I'm in now needs a full-on rescue operation and I promise to cooperate with what you deem necessary to put me on the path you have designed for me to walk. Even if I have to crawl at first.
I will embrace The Crazy in me that understands inspiration, spontaneity, sacrifice, and the soul of creativity.
I am yours; use me. We are partners; train me. I'm at your service. Forgive my closure over the years and accept this tiny opening as I recognize how far from you I've strayed. Thank you for being there now as I return, chastened and regretful and empty-handed.
Let me use every opportunity to check in with you, so that my actions are inspired and in line with what you have in mind, even when my own resistance flares up and shrieks at me.
Let me find the inner stillness in every moment of discomfort, resistance or conflict, and recognize that Life is opening an opportunity to me that I'm categorically unqualified to judge. Or resist. Or predict the outcome of.
I acknowledge that you see farther, wider, and deeper than I ever can, and I promise to suspend my disbelief, indignance or irritation in order to pursue what you are presenting to me, whether I can see any 'benefits' or not.
Thank you for all that you've given me, even in my period of ignoring you. Thank you for delivering many people, feelings, jobs, ideas, and components that you can now use to re-direct me onto the path I'm best suited to follow.
Thank you for sustaining me and protecting my health, vitality, and energy from my own self-destructive patterns. I dedicate my talents, resources, intelligence and love to you now, since they were never mine to begin with; all opportunities you find for me I will now embrace.
I surrender my will, my beliefs, my prejudices, my 'plans', my likes and dislikes, my preferences, and my habit of saying 'NO' to Life.
I give you my skills, my assets, my abilities, to do with as you see fit. Let us go where, when and how you want to go.
Let me find you in everything, especially in those occurrences that feel 'off' or confronting.
Help me say 'Yes' when my whole body is screaming 'No WAY!'
Help me find the spiritual tools that will bring me relief from my habits of thought, word, and deed.
Help me start over, and see again wonder in everything and everyone.
Allow me to hear your voice above the cacophony of my experience.
Allow me to connect with your vast wisdom and peace when I am troubled by the 'Yes' I have accepted, while fully inclined to shout, 'No!'
Thank you for the honour of being human. Thank you for my life and for all of the mistakes and free will and bad decisions I've made that have brought me, at last, back to you, convinced of the need to start over, humbled and empty.