Prometheus the Bat

I heard a weird noise in the bedroom wall at 10:30 p.m.  It sounded like rodents were splitting a case of beer and making randy advances.   We banged on the wall.  We made threats.  I sang.  Nothing helped.   We moved down the hall and slept in the guestroom where it was quiet and serene.

The next morning we went outside and put a ladder up to the second floor window.  From the ground we could see duct-tape flapping on our bedroom window.  (The window had been taped shut since fall because the hardware is busted, because the window is cheesy, because the Eighties happened and people did egregious remodels). 

Up the ladder we went. 

And there under the window, stuck to the duct tape by his belly fur and one wing, was a little brown bat.  This explained the scuffling sounds we'd heard the night before as he bravely fought to free himself. 

I maturely burst into tears.  Like Prometheus, the bat had borne his troubles bravely, but was now parched and exhausted.  His little mouth was open and he was clicking at us as if we knew where to get a cheap breakfast of mosquitoes-over-easy (bats eat about 500 mosquitoes a night).

I ran for scissors andDaniel cut off the loose tape bearing Bat au Jus (Prometheus had had a bit of diarrhea in reaction to the stress).   I offered frantic suggestions ("I think he's pooing again!") while I continued to weep a wussy frenzy. 

We brought the chunk of tape down the ladder with the bat still firmly adhered, and then took him to our garbage-hutch cum firewood box, hoping he'd grab onto the kindling and pull himself off the sticky stuff.  No hope.  He chattered and bore his teeth and struggled, still mired.   

Daniel then trimmed away ("Careful!  That could be private!") a small clump of the bat's belly fur to free the wee bugger (and I mean that as a compliment).  The papery skin of one wing was still stuck but Daniel managed to pry it gently off the dastardly duct tape. 

Prometheus didn't stay long in the wood box, but flew off into the bright light of morning to nosh on bugs and get a drink from the brownish water that had melted on top of the pool cover. 

Bats are charming and misunderstood.  They're not blind, they don't suck necks or get caught in hair, and they have great dental hygeine.   Prometheus needs to be welcomed to the neighborhood and I'm going to build him a house.  Stay tuned to this bat channel.