Thoughts from the perimeter of prematurity

Research says that 80% of premature aging is related to sun damage, but I think it's responsiblity that does it. 

When you feel responsible (even if it's misplaced, out-of-proportion, or connected to the idea that other people can't manage without your input),  the truth is that when you're feeling responsible, you're usually not feeling great, zingy or inspired.  Chances are you're feeling burdened, serious, driven or overwhelmed.

And often, the more responsible you feel, the less great you feel, and the more your face tenses into that squinty mask of concern known as premature aging.   

It's kind of interesting that, in our culture, people who refuse to take on the burdens of others are considered immature, irresponsible or self-absorbed.   But dang, they look good.   

The expression "It's not how you look, it's how you feel" contains flawed logic.   Because how you look is how you feel.

I'm fairly sure this train of thought has a destination but I may not recognize it until I've gone two stops past it.   Fortunately the ticket was free.

   

Comments

[cubbie]

i read your blog because i watched road to avonlea and was excited to see what you are up to now. and so i am going to make the anne of green gables comparison that i thought of, because you might understand it.

it's like marilla... and how for her, up until anne, everything was about duty. and she didn't really like it, but she felt she had to. and then there was anne, and there was this real, startling, joyous sort of love, and so she didn't have to be so tight and broken anymore. she might still be caring for a person, but not out of duty, but out of love.

(... what you said spoke to my condition, too, actually. i'm processing a lot around co-dependence, and i keep needing to relearn what real love and care are. i can get pretty pre-anne marilla-y, with my face all pinched and tired, when i forget that these responsibilities aren't really so urgent. that there are lovely things that i could be doing, that would make me feel great, zingy, and inspired... and that would make the world and those i care about more great, zingy, and inspired than all of my tight-lipped responsibilities would.)

[Mag]

Hi Cubbie,
I guess we all have pre-Anne Marilla-y days.

Someone sent me the following quotation today, and I thought you might like it. (You might do some research about the Indigo personality - I think you might recognize aspects of yourself.)

The Indigo experience is no more than this:
A heroic soul born inhumanely sensitive
desperately in need of true connection.

To you ... a touch is a blow, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a daydream is a premonition,
strictness is suffocation, and completion is death.

Add to this sensitive soul the overwhelming need to heal, create, and transform -- so that without the outpouring of honesty, the creating of music or poetry or something of meaning your very breath is cut off.

You must create, must pour out your entire being in each and every encounter. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency you do not feel truly alive unless you are risking everything through your divine expression.

[Valerie]

Soooooo, based on this entry, are you immature, irresposible or self absorbed? I vote immature, in a good way of course! That and alot of sunscreen!

[Sandra Williams]

Thanks for the smile Mag. There's some strange comfort in your words. Now the comments, "You're looking haggard." I shall take as a compliment because I was simply being responsible staying up all night with my sick twins.

Looking too young can also be from a lengthy imprisonment or plastic surgery. Both make you appear more preserved. Have you seen Steve Tyler from Aerosmith lately? He is not aging gracefully. It looks like they stretched his face one too many times.

You look great by the way.