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April 2009

April 02, 2009

No really. Spring is here.

Sap running down the armpits of one of our Sugar Maples.  Bring on the fecundity. 
Sure sign of spring

April 01, 2009

If It's Not One Thing, It's a Gutter

Cascading gutter At your house, is there a flood in the basement every spring because you didn't clean out the gutters last fall?  So rainwater backs up in plugged downspouts and cascades over the sides of clogged gutters?  And soon the basement walls are weeping torrents and annoyed relatives are rolling up carpet and putting down newspaper to soak up the deluge?  And that’s when it seems like a good time to go and hide in the garage?   I'm like that too. 

But this year I've matured, and so can you.  Here’s the secret for cleaning out your gutters in a timely manner: Get in touch with the ancient power of irritability. 

Mag Ruffman cleaning out gutters When you're feeling pissy, you're in a metabolically enhanced state.  You’re ready for physical and emotional confrontation.  In fact, you're begging for it.  This is your opportunity to channel annoyance into productivity by, say, cleaning the dead mouse out of the freezer fan, or - if life hasn't yet offered you that particular serving of repugnance - scooping fetid glop out of gutters. 

Remember, timing is essential.  Don't ruin a great mood with a reeking, dirty project like cleaning out gutters.  Wait till you're in a bad mood.  Also, don't do it on a nice day.  The worse the weather, the more propulsive your irritation will be, and the greater the odds that you'll complete this job in record time. 

Finally, wear ill-fitting clothes that accentuate bulgy spots.  Don't wash your hair that day.   Work barehanded.   Feel the rebirth of your inner hellcat.

Give Inky Dinky What For

Downspouts get compacted with rotting leaves.  Give your downspouts a high colonic.  Set the hose nozzle on 'Stun', insert the hose as far as possible up the downspout and blast repeatedly into the bottom end of the downspout until there is a soggy expulsion of rotting clumps.   You will be utterly soaked by now, and the sleeve of your shirt will look (and smell) like you've been delivering calves.  Press on.  It's just starting to get good.

Continue reading "If It's Not One Thing, It's a Gutter" »


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Mag's Books

  • : We're All In This Together

    We're All In This Together
    Based on four years of interviews with Steve Smith, Mag's unconventional biography reveals the personal stories, sorrows and joys that continue to inspire the man behind the Red Green legacy.

  • : How Hard Can It Be?

    How Hard Can It Be?
    Mag's quirky and entertaining book of home improvement projects for beginners.

Nota Bene

  • It’s never too late to be who you might have been. - George Eliot (1819-1880)
  • Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought. - My fortune cookie